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Today was a really awful day


This is a picture of Buddy and Tink yesterday.  Just a few hours before we had to put Tink down. The cancer spread all over her body, and as hard as the choice was, it was just time. Yesterday was so hard. So much crying.

But today is worse. I just feel so shredded. I never realized how ingrained in our lives she was. I keep expecting to see her subconsciously and my heart rips open when I remember she’s not here anymore. A hundred times each day. 

Tink was 12 years old. We were friends for her entire life, from tiny puppy to old lady. She was always wanted. We took her with us every time we moved. She was really the best, most gentle, loving, peaceful animal. She knew lots of tricks. She was great at cleaning up our plates. Her ears were soft. She could run so fast and jump so high when she was young.  As she became old, she was calm and sweet and so good. Her heart was pure until the very end.

I know it was the right choice. But I am so sad. I miss her so much.

When will this stop hurting?

12 comments:

Ronda Liebert said...

So sorry for your loss. We have been through this several times. Never easy. Just remember the good times and know you did the right thing. I wish our pets had longer life spans so we could keep them furever. God bless.

Claudine Criner said...

This just made me want to cry, I'm so sorry your heart is broken. I don't know what I'd do if I had to put one of my dogs down, I know you must just be ripped apart. Prayers for you!!

Tina said...

I'm so sorry that you lost your friend.

It will always hurt a little, and you will always second guess for a quick second when you think about it, but remember that what you did for her was humane and that she lived a loved and happy life for 12 wonderful years.

It's been almost 3 years and many moves, but I still sometimes miss the happy-to-see-me whole body wag our dog would do when we came home.

Tina said...

Oh, and till the day I die, I will remember that my favorite place to kiss our pooch was right between the eyes and the way he would patiently let me kiss him over and over again.

Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry that you had to lose your beloved Tink today. Losing our cherished pets is the worst feeling on the planet. It will take some time for those synapses to reform in your brain; allow yourself to grieve her passing. Know that there is a lady in northern California who is saying a little prayer tonight for your family and its tremendous loss. Feel the love and know that you did the very best for her her entire life.

Tesa said...

Awe, I went through the same thing 3 years ago with my sweet lucy-i am so sorry for you loss, hugs, teag

Kaz said...

Kira I'm so very sorry for your pain. Dogs are so special to us, they really are members of the family and it is only natural for you to mourn her passing. Sending love to you all. You have the best therapy with Buddy, who is turning into such a handsome little man!! She saw you through some very tough times didn't she, but she got to see how happy you were when Buddy arrived. xxx

JLVerde said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I just had to put my 2 year-old cat, Olive, to sleep Saturday. She had a terminal illness. I only had her in my life for one short year (only one week past her one year adoption anniversary).

It will stop hurting, but you will always miss them and love them.

Renee said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I still think of my cat that I lost almost 20 years ago. You'll always think good thoughts about a wonderful pet. Remember the good times you brought each other.

IamUniquelyImperfect said...

So sorry to hear the sad news. I just found your blog from Pinterest. I will keep you in my prayers of healing. Love ya' Patricia B

Deb t said...

so sorry!!! I know its a rough one!!!
Hugs to you and the little one!!!

*reyanna* said...

Oh, I'm so sorry!!! When I was 5 years old, my mom brought home our puppy, Bridgette. I was 19 when she died at home in our arms (my mom and me). It was awful. I think I cried every day for two years. Literally. It's losing a member of the family. I'm so sad for you. Big hugs!!

(Found your blog through Tula Love. :-) )